Executive Presence 101: How to Command Respect While Staying Authentically You
Build the leadership presence that opens doors— without feeling like you're playing dress-up in someone else's career.
You've earned your seat at the table. The impressive resume, the track record of results, the expertise that makes you a valued professional. It's all there. Yet somehow, when it comes to "executive presence," you feel like you're being asked to perform a role rather than simply be yourself.
Most career coaches won't tell you this, but I believe traditional executive presence advice is keeping professional women stuck in a performance they never auditioned for.
Executive Presence is Changing
The corporate world has sold us a narrow definition of executive presence that looks suspiciously like a tall white man in a perfectly tailored suit commanding a boardroom with his booming voice. For decades, professional women have been told to "lean in," "speak up," and "act more confident.” Essentially, you should mirror a leadership style that was never designed with women in mind.
But recent research reveals that the rules of executive presence are fundamentally shifting. According to studies on modern leadership expectations, inclusiveness and respect for others now rank as the third and fourth most important traits of executive presence, following confidence and decisiveness. The pandemic accelerated this transformation, forcing an easing of formal workplace professionalism as leaders showed adaptability and flexibility became more valued than rigid corporate conformity. This evolution is revolutionary for professional women who've spent years trying to fit into a mold that never quite felt right.
What Executive Presence Means in 2025
Let's start with a clear definition: Executive presence is your ability to inspire confidence in others, demonstrating that you're capable, reliable, and can drive results. It's about how you show up in high-stakes moments, how others perceive your leadership readiness, and whether people trust you to navigate complexity with steadiness and clarity. But here's where it gets interesting. Executive presence breaks down into three core components in descending order of importance:
1. Gravitas (Confidence and Leadership Substance): The most critical element, accounting for the majority of executive presence. This is your ability to remain composed under pressure, make difficult decisions, demonstrate emotional intelligence, and show respect for diverse perspectives.
2. Communication (How You Connect and Influence): Your capacity to articulate ideas clearly, listen actively, read the room, and adapt your message to your audience. In the modern workplace, this means commanding both traditional boardrooms and virtual Zoom meetings with equal effectiveness.
3. Appearance (How You Present Yourself Visually): While important, this is the least critical component (yet it's often the one women receive the most feedback about). Your appearance should reinforce your confidence, not define your competence.
True executive presence flows from the inside out. It's built on genuine confidence, not a carefully curated costume.
Five Signs You're Performing Instead of Embodying Executive Presence
At Shattered Glass Coaching, we work with accomplished professional women who are ready for their next evolution. One pattern we see repeatedly is the exhausting performance of executive presence, rather than the authentic embodiment of it. Here's how to tell the difference:
1. You Feel Like an Impostor in Your Own Wardrobe. If getting dressed for work feels like putting on a costume for a role you never wanted, that's a red flag. Authentic executive presence means choosing professional attire that makes you feel powerful, not like you're playing dress-up in someone else's closet.
2. You Modify Your Communication Style to Extremes. There's a difference between adapting your message for your audience and completely changing your personality. If you find yourself either dampening your enthusiasm to seem "serious" or artificially amplifying your assertiveness to avoid being labeled "too nice," you're performing, not leading.
3. You're Constantly Second-Guessing Your Natural Strengths. If your empathy feels like a liability, your collaborative approach seems like weakness, or your thoughtful decision-making style is criticized as indecisiveness, you're being measured against an outdated executive presence standard that doesn't serve you.
4. Your Sunday Nights Are Filled With Dread. When preparing for Monday morning feels like preparing for battle (complete with three alarms and strategic caffeine planning) something's fundamentally wrong. Executive presence shouldn't require you to disconnect from your authentic self five days a week.
5. You're Exhausted by the Effort of "Being Professional." True executive presence should energize you, not drain you. If maintaining your professional persona leaves you depleted by Wednesday afternoon, you're working too hard to fit someone else's definition of leadership.
The Authenticity-Authority Sweet Spot: Where Real Executive Presence Lives
The best female leaders are strategically integrating authenticity and authority. This is what Shattered Glass Coaching helps professional women master through our comprehensive career coaching services, particularly when preparing for job interviews, presentations, board meetings, and other high-stakes professional moments where executive presence matters most.
Here's the framework that transforms performance into presence:
Confidence Rooted in Competence
Authentic executive presence starts with acknowledging what you're genuinely good at, not what you think you should be good at based on outdated leadership models. This is where tools like the DISC Career Management Assessment become invaluable, providing scientific insights into your natural strengths and communication style.
At Shattered Glass Coaching, we guide clients through discovering how their unique personality type informs their most authentic and effective leadership approach. A high-D personality naturally commands authority through decisiveness, while a high-I leader inspires through relationship-building and enthusiasm. Neither approach is better, but both represent powerful executive presence when aligned with the individual's authentic style.
Communication That Feels Natural, Not Forced
Research shows that leadership expectations have shifted dramatically, with "listen to learn orientation" now recognized as a critical component of modern executive presence. This is excellent news for professional women who've been told their collaborative communication style is a weakness. Your ability to ask insightful questions, create psychological safety for your team, and genuinely listen before deciding is a competitive advantage in today's workplace. Through strategic career coaching, Shattered Glass Coaching helps women recognize and leverage these strengths.
Appearance That Reinforces Your Confidence
Here's where we need to be honest. Professional appearance matters, but not in the way traditional career advice suggests. The goal isn't to look like every other executive in the room (if everyone is wearing a plain black blazer that is BORING). The goal is to present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident, competent, and comfortable.
If high-end athleisure makes you feel like you're wrapped in a potato sack (even if everyone else in your organization rocks the branded-hoodie look), then don't wear it. If bold colors energize you while monochromatic neutrals make you feel invisible, embrace the palette that amplifies your presence.
At Shattered Glass Coaching, we work with clients to develop their personal brand, including their appearance, in ways that feel authentic rather than prescribed. Because when you feel confident in how you look, that confidence radiates in how you lead.
Your Executive Presence Action Plan
Ready to stop performing executive presence and start embodying it? Here's your practical roadmap:
1. Audit Your Current Professional Identity: Schedule 30 minutes this week to honestly assess: What aspects of your current professional presentation feel authentic? What feels like a performance? Write it down. The clarity alone is transformative.
2. Identify Three Women Leaders You Admire: Look for leaders, either in your organization or beyond, who demonstrate executive presence while maintaining authenticity. What specific behaviors, communication patterns, or leadership approaches resonate with you? Model these, not the generic "executive presence" checklist.
3. Reclaim One Authentic Element You've Suppressed: Maybe it's your sense of humor, your collaborative decision-making style, or your passion for your work. Choose one authentic element you've been minimizing and intentionally bring it back into your professional presence this week.
4. Practice Your Power Narrative: Develop three clear, concise stories that demonstrate your leadership impact, decision-making under pressure, and value creation. Practice delivering these with the enthusiasm and confidence they deserve. These become your executive presence evidence in interviews, presentations, and networking situations.
5. Build Your Strategic Support System: Executive presence isn't developed in isolation. Whether through formal coaching, mentorship, or peer relationships, surround yourself with people who reinforce your authentic strengths rather than highlight your perceived deficits.
The Freedom That Comes With Authentic Executive Presence
When your executive presence feels authentic, it creates freedom. Freedom to show up as yourself. Freedom to lead in ways that energize rather than exhaust you. Freedom to command respect without compromising your values, personality, or well-being. At Shattered Glass Coaching, we've guided countless professional women through this transformation, helping them develop the executive presence that opens doors while staying true to who they are. Our clients don't just land new jobs; they step into leadership positions where they're valued for their authentic strengths, respected for their unique perspectives, and compensated for their true worth.
We provide strategic career coaching that builds both the tactical skills and unshakeable confidence needed to show up powerfully in job interviews, presentations, board meetings, and every professional interaction that matters. Because you deserve a career where your executive presence feels like the most natural thing in the world, not a daily performance that leaves you exhausted.
Your Next Strategic Move
If you're ready to develop executive presence that feels authentic, powerful, and completely aligned with who you are (not who you think you should be), you don't have to figure it out alone. Shattered Glass Coaching specializes in coaching ambitious professional women build the confidence and executive presence that accelerates their careers without requiring them to become someone they're not. Our approach combines strategic guidance with the DISC Career Management Assessment, giving you both the tactical tools and the scientific insights needed to lead authentically and effectively.
